10 am, Thurs Nov 14 2013 – American Sentences

14 Nov

A distant sun gives me the cold shoulder: Indian Summer’s over.

I sit, trying to collect thoughts, while little fists pound the bedroom door.

3 loads of laundry, but the washing machine won’t stop leaking water.

On my desk, incessant telephone haranguing keeps me on my toes.

Is it too late to run home, slide into base, where I can be called safe?

Never mind that look in my eye, I really am listening to you.

Ahhhhh ... Freak Out!

Ahhhhh … Freak Out!

More challenges, this time in the form of American Sentences, which is a form of haiku created by Allen Ginsburg. This is a new form to me, where each sentence has 17 syllables like a haiku. You can really write about anything, not just nature. I found some interesting websites about American Sentences, most notably this one by Paul Nelson which really inspired my to do this more often. This is my very first attempt, and it wasn’t easy, but I am realizing that I like challenging myself with form. According to Nelson, “I find it an amazing way to sharpen my perception and learn how to eliminate unnecessary syllables. It aids in a sort of pre-editing that supports my spontaneous writing practice.” That intrigues me a lot, so I will probably try to do this a little more often, since I can use a lot of pre-editing and elimination of unnecessary words in my writing.

This is posted  in connection with a prompt by Gay over at DversePoetsPub, in which we use American Sentences to describe a scene happening now.  SO, welcome to my world today!

14 Responses to “10 am, Thurs Nov 14 2013 – American Sentences”

  1. Mary November 14, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    These are good…sentences of real life! Often life is just like that. Smiles.


  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) November 14, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

    Oh those little fists.. really down to earth and everyday experience…


  3. grapeling November 14, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

    ha! we took divergent takes on the ‘listening’ idea ~


  4. claudia November 14, 2013 at 4:04 pm #

    everyday life captured in a few lines… that is cool.. indian summer over here as well…it was getting quite cold lately…sigh


  5. freyathewriter November 14, 2013 at 4:05 pm #

    Oh yes, THAT kind of day! I hear you… 😉


  6. Sherry Blue Sky November 14, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    These made me smile..a glimpse of Real Life. Love the panic buttons, too.


  7. brian miller November 14, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

    nice…i like the too late to slide in to base you can call home and be safe one…yikes on the leaking washing machine too….


  8. Grace November 14, 2013 at 7:17 pm #

    Well this looks like my kind of day too ~ Really enjoyed this as well as the titles of the books, ha ~


  9. hypercryptical November 14, 2013 at 7:24 pm #

    I do so understand those little fists…
    Anna :o]


    • Gay Reiser Cannon November 14, 2013 at 8:05 pm #

      You did a first rate job of finding that “hinge” that gave us that “wow” allowing us to see how those connections fit perfectly. Great insights, and well written.


  10. Katie (@PunkRockPoet84) November 14, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

    Nice. I love this piece. So vivid! 🙂


  11. kkkkaty1 November 15, 2013 at 4:04 am #

    That is poetry in motion..I mean a mother’s wistful day of working and taking care of others 😉


  12. Loredana Donovan November 15, 2013 at 7:15 am #

    I love these … describing everyday experiences. Well done 🙂


  13. shanyns November 15, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

    What a totally cool set! And each on stands strong alone too. Very nicely done!


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