One Last Thing

10 Dec

Please, let me kiss you
before the summer bids us adieu
while its glow still warms through your eyes,
while your mouth yet beguiles me with smiles,
and our youthful hearts still beat true.

Let all that has been done, undo
and let nothing witness it but the skies,
as we give in to the sweetest surprise
if you please, let me kiss you

like we fear no pain anew
with nothing to lose, we’ll gently construe
from lips to lips, with words implied
honey sweetness, on a rising tide,
imparting volumes with our sighs, how to
please, let me kiss you.

And with one
electric shock,
as the dawn
dissipates the dark,
I promise
I will do naught,
but kiss you.

altantic_beach_morning_flower

Since Tony Maude over at Dverse Poets Pub introduced the rondeau I have been working on this poem. My biggest challenge was the rhyme structure, which for this rondeau is a 15-line poem with rentrement (aabba–aabR–aabbaR). I call mine a rondeau+ because the last stanza is not really rondeau form, more like a parenthesis or an afterthought, in a Cummings kind of way. I welcome your comments on how it turned out!

 

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11 Responses to “One Last Thing”

  1. rambling poet December 9, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    Lovely poem, lovely photo

    Like

  2. claudia December 10, 2013 at 2:55 pm #

    ah there’s so much in a kiss… said and unsaid…

    Like

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) December 10, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

    Oh that end.. when dawn comes all is fine again… wonderfully rendered, and build up to that end… Love it

    Like

    • lupitatucker December 10, 2013 at 3:37 pm #

      Thank you Bjorn, I was playing a little with that theme Samuel gave us the other day on indiscretion.

      Like

  4. Heaven (@ScarletVerses) December 10, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

    I applaud you for writing in this challenging form ~ I use the rhyming dictionary to help me with the rhyming pattern ~ What a romantic write, so much in that kiss ~

    Like

    • lupitatucker December 10, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

      Thank you Grace! I was actually inspired by a poem you wrote a few months ago … made me want to dig around and find something romantic in my heart. I have become an avid fan of rhymezone, lol. Very handy!

      Like

  5. brian miller December 10, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    nicely said…its got a real nice flow through out…and the desire for one last kiss….before the flame goes out…i see summer as a metaphor in this….and laying it all aside lets recapture what once was…one last time…smiles.

    Like

  6. Tony Maude December 10, 2013 at 4:04 pm #

    For me, your rondeau is a beautiful poem on its own – and thanks for coming back to this form after all these weeks … smiles.

    Like

  7. Katie (@PunkRockPoet84) December 10, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    Very nice, and innocent. We could use more of this. 🙂

    Like

  8. hypercryptical December 11, 2013 at 2:38 pm #

    Lovely words, lovely pic. Lovely lovely lovely!
    Anna :o]

    Like

  9. poetrypea December 12, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

    Not only a good read, but I learnt something too.

    Like

Please let me know what you think of this poem. I love comments!

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