On Motherhood and Being an Artist

Two wonderful poets, friends of mine, recently became mothers. In the past week both confessed on FB that they had not written in at least a year or more! That made me think a lot about motherhood, and being a woman, an artist, and how our art is affected by our roles as females and mothers.

When I became a mother I also stopped writing. It wasn’t by choice, and I had the craving to write, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to the page. This was in the age before Facebook (1999), so I didn’t even have a chance to write self-gratifying observational blurbs to the world like we can today. I kept a sporadic journal, but it was a surface recording of events, nothing deep. I feel so guilty sometimes for not writing creatively then, but at the same time, I give myself a pass because so much energy was put into other creative ends— albeit “non artistic.” Also, I didn’t consider myself an artist back then either, like I do now.

In 2013 I hit a wall and I no longer had the luxury NOT to write. I had to write for my own sanity. I waited 14 YEARS to write poems again. I finally had some distance between whatever was impeding my creativity, and me. When I say distance, it wasn’t more than a pinky-width, but I finally had more than just a craving to write again. Writing was the thing that brought me back to myself. 2012 & 2013 were traumatic for our family, but I rediscovered poetry, and I feel that was God’s way of lighting a path for me out of that mess.

Thinking back, though, one of my biggest regrets is that I dropped the pen for so long. I extend grace to myself, for sure, and I don’t lose sleep over this, but it jabs me every now and then. How about you, artist friends? How has motherhood/marriage or otherwise impacted your creative life.