Down with the Sails

5 Apr

Wild nights Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Down would come the sails
Naked in the moonbeams we
As our Wild nights should be
Our secret luxury!

Futile the calling winds
My Heart seduced in your port
Done with the Compass
Done with the Chart!
My Q flag a flying
My wheel lashed up short.

Rowing in a blissful Eden
Ah rocking in time with the Sea!
My heart tugs at the anchor
Open your arms to harbor me
Might I but moor tonight
Dear sir, In thee!

image

It’s a poetic arts & crafts project for day five of NaPoWriMo. Today’s prompt is to choose a poem by Emily Dickinson, then deconstruct and reconstruct it. I chose Wild Nights – Wild Nights! (no surprise there). I incorporated a little bit more of the ‘sailboat in port’ metaphors. I was never fully satisfied with her original poem to begin with, so this was a nice chance to doctor it up a bit.

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30 Responses to “Down with the Sails”

  1. CC Champagne April 5, 2015 at 11:32 am #

    Will admit I’ve never read the original (will go do so now), but this was amazing! THIS is how it’s supposed to be done, and I could never do it this way! Amazing!

    Like

    • lupitatucker April 5, 2015 at 11:33 am #

      Thanks CC 🙂 I think the key to this exercise is to find one you like but that feels like its missing something …

      Liked by 1 person

  2. CC Champagne April 5, 2015 at 11:33 am #

    PS. Your link to the original poem is faulty… Just thought you might want to change that…

    Like

  3. skyllairae April 5, 2015 at 6:32 pm #

    Love the title! I love the angels you chose to expand and emphasize, really great rework!

    Like

  4. Bryan Ens April 6, 2015 at 9:45 am #

    Congrats, Lupita, on being the NaPo featured poet! You have certainly made this poem your own, especially as you are a self-described “sailor by marriage”. Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lupitatucker April 6, 2015 at 10:41 am #

      Thanks Brian! It has totally made my day 🙂 I’m glad you liked the poem!

      Like

      • Bryan Ens April 6, 2015 at 11:05 am #

        I hope it does for your “view count” what it did to mine!!

        Like

  5. angieinspired April 6, 2015 at 10:53 am #

    Yes, Lupita, you did a great job here. It wasn’t too far off-shore from Dickinson’s, but well enough away.

    Like

  6. mahmoodsadaat April 6, 2015 at 12:45 pm #

    “Futile the calling winds
    My Heart seduced in your port
    Done with the Compass
    Done with the Chart!” Beautiful, up, up and away 🙂

    Like

  7. Ellzabeth Hornor Boquet April 6, 2015 at 1:43 pm #

    Brilliant and congrats!

    Like

  8. Mary April 9, 2015 at 3:44 pm #

    I really enjoyed the rhythm in this poem which make me feel as if I was rolling with the waves.

    Like

  9. claudia April 9, 2015 at 3:46 pm #

    nice… love the metaphor here… carries a lot of meaning… and beautiful intimacy as well

    Like

  10. billgncs April 9, 2015 at 5:23 pm #

    nicely done, the sea certainly helps one rise to the occasion 🙂

    Like

  11. Grace April 9, 2015 at 7:38 pm #

    I love the cadence of the verses, specially the last stanza ~

    Like

  12. kanzensakura April 9, 2015 at 8:56 pm #

    I always liked this poem. Perhaps if Ms. Dickinson had sailed on the seas, she would have never gone back to Amherst. Good re-make. Congrats on being chose as featured poet for NaPoWriMo. I’ve done it for the first time and am enjoying it.

    Like

    • lupitatucker April 9, 2015 at 8:58 pm #

      Thank you! It was a major highlight for me. NaPoWriMo is fun, I like the challenges to write about different things and in different ways. It helps me stay out of a rut 🙂

      Like

      • kanzensakura April 9, 2015 at 11:56 pm #

        Yes, it does. It is always a good thing to learn something new to help expand ones art and visions of it. Many times tough but a good tough.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Desmond, Anthony (@iamEPanthony) April 9, 2015 at 9:51 pm #

    nice imagery of being at sea… I’ll be sure to check out the original as well!

    Like

  14. Dusty Writes April 9, 2015 at 11:40 pm #

    Oh I just LOVE this!!

    Like

  15. C.C. April 10, 2015 at 12:22 am #

    Wow, this is amazing! Not to mention blazing with passion….a sailor’s version of a sock on the door….like when the boat’s a rockin’ don’t come knocking 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. MarinaSofia April 10, 2015 at 8:19 am #

    What an interesting challenge – nicely done.

    Like

  17. Alex Dissing April 10, 2015 at 5:20 pm #

    Love the sailboat metaphors! There’s one in my poem this week too, actually! There’s an immense sense of openness & freedom associated with being on the open water, & that “naked in the moonbeam” sequence captured that well.

    Like

  18. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) April 11, 2015 at 12:29 am #

    Love the metaphors you use and after a stormy night we just wish to moor in a Laguna somewhere don’t we?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Gabriella April 11, 2015 at 12:38 pm #

    I enjoyed the deconstruction and reconstruction. This is a very interesting exercise per se but you have also written a wonderful and meaningful poem filled with great imagery.

    Like

  20. Mary April 11, 2015 at 1:05 pm #

    (P.S. — and thank you for the very nice comment you made over at my blog. It made my day! Have a good weekend.)

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Glenn Buttkus April 11, 2015 at 9:13 pm #

    Very clever & imaginative rhyme schemes, & kudos for actually improving on Emily’s work. What emerged seems sensual & seaworthy. Congrats on your accolade, on having the energy to be so prolific.

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Poem / Poetry – “Chasing Her Eclipse” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) - April 8, 2015

    […] Bubbly – Fame On The Go arakawa fiction – NaPoWriMo Day 5: “I Dwell in Possibilities Not Enough Poetry – Down with the Sails Irene Riz – National Poetry Month: 5 out of 30 J Luukkonen Tumblr Poetry – Emily […]

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